Falling Ahead

Around Halloween, we change our clocks. We “fall back” an hour. This means more light in the morning and less light in the evening. I come home from work in the dark. Without my love there, the mountain cabin feels more empty. Sometimes I light a fire in the woodstove to chase away the gloom.

At the mountain cabin, we have two cherry trees and a london plane tree in the yard. They shed their leaves in early November. The yard becomes a blanket of gold.

Since I spend most weekends with my spouse, at the beach condo, over the Blue Mountain, 90 miles away, I have to find a way to accomplish weekend chores on weekday evenings. No problem. The headlamp I ordered from L.L. Bean is perfect for night raking. Under the light, the leaves become even more brilliant.

Sometimes I am envious of people who have weekends to accomplish routine chores. Maybe they, in turn, are envious of me and my adventurous lifestyle. No problem. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. I try not to go there too often, and when I do, to remember my blessings. I have a loving wife with a great sense of humor. We both have jobs. We have a chance to live the American dream, even if that means two homes, two sets of bills and lots of driving, for me.

Raking leaves is a rite of passage of fall. It’s a chance to contemplate the four seasons, fall, winter, spring and road construction.

Each leaf I rake is a step closer to the day when my love and I can live in the same house, full time. We’ve lived this way, five years already. We have about 10 years to go before we can retire. We won’t be rich, except in spirit. But we do have homes, however modest. We have electricity, running water and share the same moon. Rake in hand, I look up at the moon, and think my love may be 90 miles away, admiring the same moon. More likely, however, she is inside, thankful for central heating.

Leaves come and go. Our love is a constant. Instead of falling back, I change the clock back and fall ahead — toward a future that we spend together as an ordinary couple, enjoying each chore as it comes. Replacing the toilet paper roll. Washing dishes. Chopping wood. Each day I prepare for that future. I want to enjoy the next 10 years, one day at a time, not rush through them. And when, at last, my love and I are together, full time, I want to enjoy each day then, too. There’s gold is the yard. There’s gold in our lives. We just have to look for it.